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November 5th, 2008
01:20 am - yes we can!
There are no words to properly express just how happy I am right now. I cried.
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March 2nd, 2008
09:13 pm
It's only a matter of months before I graduate from college. It really kind of baffles me that it's happening so soon-- I feel like it's snuck up on us while we were too busy spending many agonizing nights in the library, backs hunched over computer screens, fingers cramped from churning out paper after paper. I find myself in that very same position at the moment. I've been in the library, in the very same seat, since 11am this morning, my only respite a meager 15 jaunt over to the dining hall to grab a small plate of sushi. I'm writing a truly horrible paper right now: 10 - 12 pages on any architectural site that you can visit in Chicago. I haphazardly and arbitrarily chose the Auditorium Building and I've now spent many afternoons wandering around inside, following the constant stream of Roosevelt University students that filter in and out through its revolving doors. I am, to be quite frank, fucked. It's due Tuesday and I've written 5 very messy pages of absolute drivel. And right now, dangerously on the edge of a full fledged panic attack, all I can think about is how much I'm going to miss this when it's gone. I'm going to miss sleepless & paper filled nights, churning out paper after paper. I'm going to miss wandering around in the bookstacks hunting down some obscure and amazing book on whatever it is I'm writing about. This is all I've known for four years and not having it anymore terrifies me.
There are only 4 months left.
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December 25th, 2007
08:30 pm
Dear everyone,
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope your days were restful and full of good food and lots of presents. It's been nice being home-- I've missed the Beach more than I even realized. Surprising, that is... Oh! Oh! I am now the official and proud new owner of an iPhone! My biggest Christmas wish has been realized. I'm very happy and so relaxed. I've done nothing all day but sit around in my (comfy) pajamas and eat (delicious) food. Overall an incredibly successful Christmas morning.
So, what did everyone get for Christmas? Anything good?
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November 30th, 2007
03:22 pm
So, remember years ago when I actually used to write in this journal (and the various other ones)? Would actually write about what was happening in my life? It was often melodramatic teen-talk: sex & drugs & boys & more sex. It was lovely and carefree. I miss those days, documenting my life in prose and just spilling it all our confessional-style. I've decided to (gasp!) actually start writing in here again. So here goes.
My life, now:
1. I got a new tattoo. It's beautiful-- a black silhouette of a sea gull on the top of my left foot. I also had the one on my wrist touched up and fixed.
2. This leads to my next point. Because of said avian tattoo, I cannot wear shoes for a couple of weeks lest I disrupt the healing process/fuck up all the ink. This is really terrible because I live in the Chicago tundra-- land of wind and snow and ice.
3. Thankfully I'm Miami Beach-bound in a week-- exactly a week today! I just have to finish two massive literature (12-15 page) papers & one small (5-7 page) art history paper. The two long papers are due Monday. I'm halfway through the first one... I'm a machine. Paper-writing robot!
4. I miss poetry. The ease and flow of words, sing-song. I've been reading lots of Plath to lull me to sleep at night, it's so lovely.
5. I cut off 10+ inches of my hair and donated it. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I have phantom hair pains. I reach around and try to grip hair at the small of my back and come up with nothing. It's strange but I love having this short (just shoulder, clavicle grazing length) hair. It's funny, really. I never had long hair. High school was always short hair, medium length hair, then back to short hair. College was Rapunzel length wavy hair and now this. How curious.
6. More to come, I promise.
Current Location: my favorite cubicle in the library
Current Music: the rolling stones - she's a rainbow
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July 3rd, 2007
03:06 pm
I miss Paris, my Paris. I miss the worn cobblestone streets, the dank but familiar smells of old Metro stops. The flowing wine, the thumping beats of the nightclubs, of drunkenly seeking the warm embrace of anonymous strangers' lips. Laying in the grass with friends, cigarettes, and a bottle of wine in the Luxembourg gardens. Going to the Marais for a life-changingly delicious falafel sandwich followed by an amazing stroll through the Picasso museum. Rummaging through the boxes of Parisian's gently used clothing, paying an astonishing 5 euro for the most adorable purse I'd ever seen that I subsequently left, lonely and homeless, in my room in Paris. Week-long vacations to Amsterdam and Berlin. Tripping through the streets of Amsterdam, streetlights aglow and hallucinations abounding! When I came back to Paris, I felt like I was home. I smoked too many cigarettes and too much hash-- I loved every minute of it. I ate too many crepes and too many grecs, drank too much wine and too much gin. I went to too many jazz bars and too many rock clubs. I loved every minute of it. Of strolling down the streets and nonchalantly catching a glimpse of the Eiffel Tower, sparkling and illuminated, Notre Dame keeping an eye on the city from its island in the Seine. I came to love that city, learned its geography and anatomy. I know I will be back soon.
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April 2nd, 2007
07:51 pm
So, I haven't written here in... an extremely long time. My apologies.
I think perhaps a quick update is due.
I'M IN PARIS! FOR 3 MONTHS! STUDYING! YESS! I love it and never ever want to leave. Does anyone want a postcard? Any takers? Gimme yr addresses and I'll send you some love.
Otherwise, life is pretty great. I'm happy, all is well, and it's almost thisclose SPRINGTIME. I'm really looking forward to that.
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December 3rd, 2006
10:41 pm - I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine.
So, finals week has finally descended upon us. We're all panicking now, our ambivalence towards our work and laziness is finally catching up with us. Maybe I should've done all of my readings when they were assigned to me, not hurriedly a couple of days before my paper is duing, frantically trying to save my ass.
Anyways, all of my finals are (naturally) all of the paper variety and they are all due Tuesday. This Tuesday. As in the 5th. At the same time. As in Noon. So, I'm a little worried. I've written one and have just begun the second now. I have decided that I will be asleep by 4am, not 6am like last night.
I've been listening to a lot of Fiona Apple, particularly her new CD, because it's the only thing that's soothing me right now-- furious piano playing and dripping honey vocals. As I began the (unhealthy and unnatural) process of churning out another paper, the song Extraordinary Machine came on, which is so appropriate. Those who know me and know the way I am with papers will see the truth to this.
Back to work I go. Let's see if I make it 'till Wednesday. That will be the true test of my talents and my resolve.
Also, haha, wow:
Current Mood: working
Current Music: Fiona Apple
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December 2nd, 2006
September 6th, 2006
10:28 pm
Dear Facebook,
WHAT THE FUCK?
Love,
Melissa
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September 2nd, 2006
02:43 am - nerd post
So, I had been very upset the last few days because the English Department at my school had cancelled two classes that I was very excited about. I kept trying to add classes and everything I had wanted was closed. I felt like I was pretty much stuck with the schedule that I had. So tonight, in a fit of rage, I log onto add/drop, searching for classes to fill that void. A brief bit of background history here: I tried, desperately, to get into the History and Theory of Drama I class during bidding for classes. I was brutally denied-- ouch! Tonight, however, my luck changed. I managed to get my little butt into the History and Theory of Drama class-- with the one, the only, DAVID BEVINGTON!
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August 30th, 2006
02:26 am - strange birds or: how i love my mother to pieces
the setting: my living room
the time: 9 pm
the players: my mother, myself
We sit around lazily, my mother filling out a sudoku puzzle while i steal glances over her shoulder. we are talking about our upcoming excursion to chicago. she is helping me do some basic shopping for my apartment. the following conversation ensues.
mom: so, what do you have planned for us?
me: well, i was thinking we could, you know, shop and go to some nice restaurants. the usual stuff.
mom: okay. so, anything fun or exciting to do at night? something we haven't done before.
me: well, there is this really yummy hookah bar with the best baba ghanoush i've ever had in my life on the north side. but i don't know how i feel about smoking with my mother.
mom: like tobacco? yeah, that sounds pretty cool. let's do that.
me: okay then.
end scene.
Current Music: fiery furnaces
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August 29th, 2006
04:05 am - brand new
1. my insomnia is at its maximum right now. it's very, very bad. it's 5 am and i just can't seem to fall asleep. last night i only slept an hour & a half and then hauled my ass to work-- such a trooper.
2. as a result of my insomnia, i have stumbled upon this little nugget of wonder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5hyNh1Pglc . seriously though, what the fuck?
3. after coming from a long day of work, running on practially no sleep (see 1), i open my chicago email to find out that my poetry class had been cancelled. that is the SECOND time the english department had cancelled a class on me. and my schedule was looking so nice, too. i'm browsing through timeschedules/cmore now to see if i can even pick up another one to fill the void.
4. so, yeah, um, there's a hurricane/tropical storm coming our way.
5. 43things.com is the best thing everrrr.
6. i finally finished reading House of Leaves about a week ago. sure, it was practically unreadable. but it was sad and scary and beautiful. totally worth reading. however, it is only for the brave-- this book took me months to read and it is, at some points, completely unreadable.
7. i have made a series of new life goals that i need to & will achieve.
8. i'm going to start writing in here on a regular basis again.
Current Music: broken social scene
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August 15th, 2006
02:02 am
Today, I am 20 years old.
wow.
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August 10th, 2006
04:19 pm - apartment goodies
As the summer draws to an end, all I can think about is decorating the lovely little blue apartment that's waiting for me in Chicago. That and the amazing parties with all my beautiful friends that we're going to have at The Suzanne. The following is a wish-list / to-buy list of sorts:
( Read more... )
Current Music: wolf parade
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July 12th, 2006
02:37 am
So, it's official. Tomorrow my brother and I pick up our new passports and we leave on Sunday. I can't even begin to put into words the sheer excitement that I am feeling right now.
Also, I have terrible insomnia and haven't slept in two days.
Also, everyone should go to 43things.com and sign up. It's amazing.
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July 9th, 2006
09:23 pm
This article makes me so incredibly happy.
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/commentary/0,6115,1210364_21_0_,00.html
TWIN PEAKS season two WILL be mine soon!
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July 5th, 2006
02:59 pm
Summer had begun in a most boring way. I hadn't done much, really. And didn't plan on doing much, either. I've been sleeping a lot, reading a lot, and doing a whole lot of nothing. However, things are looking up for me today.
Yesterday, while my grandparents were over the house for fourth of july festivities and bbq, my grandmother pulls me aside and asks: "mels, how would you like to go to portugal and the canary islands? i know you've learned how to speak portuguese so this will be fun! happy birthday."
In two weeks, I will be in Portugal and the Canary Islands for two weeks. YESSSSSSS!
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June 26th, 2006
05:12 am - i need you so much closer
This insomnia is unbearable-- it's 6 am and I can't sleep. I don't think I will be going to sleep anytime soon.
I was looking over old journal entries tonight-- old journals, old lives, old identities-- and I realized how much I miss writing. It's almost as if going school, being in a constant state of paper-writing and stress, has robbed me of my ability of being able to write like I used to. I used to have such pretty words. I could verbalize my feelings in the utmost detail, with clarity and precision. Now... nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing. I'm powerless.
And it's upsetting.
It's time to start writing again.
Current Music: death cab for cutie - transatlanticism
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May 20th, 2006
April 7th, 2006
01:29 am - my life
entirely uninspired
Current Music: bob marley
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sundayshoes's journal